Suzanne's Blog

Distraught

2010-06-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

I write this blog today in a sad state of mind. My life has been seriously complicated by a really crappy situation. Every time this situation comes to mind, it ruins my day, it makes me depressed, and it makes me want to cry. When I get depressed, I tend to get angry as well, then tend to lash out at my loved ones. It's awful. On top of that, it puts me in a bad mood, and I'm not pleasant to be around. I just want to be left alone by my family, but I want my friends close. But whenever I really want to talk to a friend about it, nobody's online to chat. :( I want this situation to go away. But, it can't until I can completely surpess it in my thoughts. I give it to God every night, but it still crowds my thought and memories. It helps now to write this out, and it helps to rant in my journal, but that's only a temporary relief. I can't take it anymore. Where's the situation-be-gone gel that I can rub on my head to erase my memories of it?? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I want it to GO AWAY!!! :(

My 21st birthday!!

2010-05-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well, my 21st birthday was yesterday and OH MY GOSH!!!! It was the BEST!!!

For starters, Friday night, 3 of my girlfriends (Kim, Cassie, and Monida) from the Bible College I attend came over. Cassie and Monida came over at 3 after my Journalism class. We had to wait for Kim to get off work, so Cassie, Monida, and I played Uno and Yahtzee while watching parts 1 and 2 of an HBO mini-series on John Adams (extra credit assingment for their history class). Then, when that series was over, we started playing Scategories. Monida is way to freakin' smart! lol. We were laughing so hard at some of the answers we came up with. Kim finally showed up around 7 and joined into our Scategories game which brough even more laughter. When we finsihed up, we ate pizza (Hawaiian with white sauce - my favorite) and watched Alvin and Chipmunks and the Squeakquel (which didn't end until 1 am. Kim and I were the only ones awake to the end).

Saturday, we got up, got dressed, ate toaster waffles, and left to go SKYDIVNG!!!!! Cassie unfortunately had to work, so she couldn't dive with us. She left early Saturday morning. My parents drove me, Kim, and Monida down to the Parachute Center in Lodi. They have the best prices, safety ratings, and drop zone in Northern California. We got down there, paid (my parents paid for me, it was my birthday present), then signed our lives away on the liability waiver/release. We got our numbers (jumpers 24 [Kim], 24 [Me], and 25 [Monida]) turned in our paperwork, went to the bathroom, then we heard our numbers called!! We went in back, got harnassed up, and went to the waiting area. Then, we loaded onto the plane. I was the first one in (last one out), Kim was the last one on.

Once we took off, my instructor made me sit all the way back against HIS 'chute and gear and he went and co-piloted the plane (that startled me). But, he came back as people were getting ready to jump. My friend Kim was sitting on the floor by the door and she didn't even notice that the door had been opened before she was out! lol. I was the last one out. The free fall was sooooo awesome, tho a bit cold (I was only wearing capris shorts and a t-shirt). And, I had to force myself to breathe. I kept like holding my breath, then realized "oh, breath out!". lol. There was one point, about 2 seconds after we jumped that I thought "HOLY CRAP!!! I JUST JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE!!" But, 2 seconds later, I was thinking "AWESOME!! I just jumped out of an airplane!" The camera lady jumped out with us and fimled up to the point my instructor pulled our chute. She free fell for a little bit longer, and in the end, had to deploy her back-up 'chute because her first one was tangled; so she didn't film my landing. But, my dad got some pics for me.

Basically, after my instructor pulled our chute, we floated down for a long time. Probably a good 5 minutes. Idk. But, it was fun. The landing was pretty easy. My instructor told me to put my feet up, and we made a running landing (which means we landed on our feet, not sliding in on our butts) lol. But, overall it was an AWESOME experience. Definately something I would do again. The only problem was that after I landed, I was exhausted. It's from the adrenaline rush, then crash. I was so tired the rest of the day (and running on not much sleep). But, it was SSSOOOO worth it!! I hope to be able to go again in the near future!! :D

Monida, Kim, and I survived our jump!!!

Pass the Salt

2010-05-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had the privilege of preaching in chapel at the Bible college I go to. The title of my message was "pass the Salt." This post is the basics of the message I shared.

Let me ask you this question: "Is your salt, salty?" Matthew 5:13 says, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men." Typically, when asked, "What is salt good for?" the most common responses I hear or think of are "to add flavor/to season" and "to preserve." But, there's another purpose of salt - it makes you thirsty. That got me thinking - if we, as Christians, are truly living as the salt of the earth, then the people around us should be thirsty for the Living Water. If the people around you are not thirsty, not noticing what it is that's different about you, then you're living too much like the unflavored world. It's time to stop saving all good seasoning for ourselves, and pass the salt.

Perhaps the reason people are not thirsting for Living Water is because we are only around other Christians. Are we in a position where we can pass the salt? And, if we are around those who need Living Water, are we holding it back and keeping it to ourselves because we're embarrassed by our faith, or afraid of what others might think of us? Or are we freely giving what has been freely given to us? Jesus is the Living Water (see John 4) and people should be thirsty for Him.

I've been thinking a lot about how salt affects the cells of our bodies. The ideal situation for a cell is an isotonic state. This is when the salt concentration is the same on the inside and outside of a cell. When this happens, water can flow easily in and out of a cell at the same rate. However, if there is more salt inside our cells than in the environment around them, the cells will take in water from their surroundings, swell, and possibly burst. This is called a hypotonic cell. And, just the opposite, if there's more salt on the outside than the inside, the water will flow out of the cells faster than it can come in, causing the cells to shrink and shrivel up. This is called a hypertonic cell.

Relating this back to Christians, I came to understand that if we keep all of the salt inside of us (if we never share God's Word and our faith), we become swollen, "stealing" the water from the environment. Furthermore, if we put so much salt out there, that all the water leaves us, our spiritual life shrivels up. However, if we allow the salt to saturate equally between us and the environment, we will live in a state where Living Water both leaves us and fills us. We need to be like isotonic cells and find the middle ground between sharing our faith and building our faith.

What kind of Christian are you? Are you hypotonic, swollen with yourself and your own righteousness? Are you hypertonic, shriveling away, concerned so much with others that you forget to build your own spiritual walk? Or are you isotonic, allowing God's living water to flow both in and out of you? Let's live as God intended us to, and pass the Salt!!

Lifehouse Everything Skit

2008-02-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

We performed this at my church on Sundary, February 10, 2008 for our 10:30 Contemporary service! I love this skit - it is ssooooooo powerful! If you're not in tears, you'll at least have the chills after watching it. Jesus saved us from sooo much! You can see it here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nQxCbItEmss

We also did the skit for the church's college Saturday night service. It was awesome there. I actually had one different cast member (because he was sick). Instead of Nathanael as Money, my friend John Paul played the part. He learned it only 15 minutes before the performance. He rocks like that. You can see this one here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FrWnfIl_C3s

I am Concerned

2008-01-07T00:42:00.000-08:00

I am really concerned about today's youth. Many young people profess to be Christians in today's world, but very few live it out. During high school Awana tonight, I was working on my doctrine homework because I wasn't needed as a leader at that moment. Mr. Sexton was teaching the lesson and it was on "gray areas" of the Christian walk. One thing he said really gripped my heart. He said that about 93% of 13 year olds believe that they are Christians, but really are not. I could barely believe that I heard him correctly - that means only 7% of 13 year olds in this country are truly Evangelical Christians. How sad. Another thing I've noticed is that even those teenagers that profess to be Christians and walk the walk are confused in some ways. I read a lot of the bulletins that get posted here on myspace and sometimes what they say truly shock me. I've seen several quiz bulletins that say "what do you think about abortion?" and the answers of some people really surprised me. Many of the answers say "It's your choice" or "I guess it's ok." That truly surprised me. As Christians, we should believe that abortion is not OK, even more so that it is flat out wrong. Abortion, in every way, shape and form, is MURDER. If you were to research how an abortion is performed and what it does to the baby, I believe you would be horrified. When I read about abortion in my health book in the 7th or 8th grade, I was crying. My mom walked into my room and saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. I just showed her the book - I couldn't even speak. I was moritified.

I cannot even begin to voice how scared I am for America. I'm sure you've all heard the popular saying "Children are our future." In fact, there's a song by Whitney Houston where she starts out by singing "I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way, Show them all the beauty they possess inside." With the children being our nation's future, consider where we will be when they are grown. If today's children have confused and twisted beliefs, how much worse will our nation be in 20 years? I'm scared to say this, but I think that within the next 20 or 30 years, America will no longer be a free nation. We're certainly no longer a Christian nation. We need help raise up children with a Godly, Biblical worldview if we want to see America live. We need to help our youth straighten out their beliefs so that they will be able to better help those younger. In many churches, we have lost the practice of discipleship. We convert people and give them a pat on the back, but leave them to grow up on their own. No wonder so many people go astray. They were not properly discipled; they didn't get to grow up in Christ. Many believers are being lead astray because they were still only drinking milk; they were never able to partake of the "solid food" that the apostle Paul talked about in Hebrews 5.

"For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." (Hebrews 5:12-14)

So, before I close out this blog, I want you to conisder something - are you still just a babe drinking milk? Or, are you of full age and eating meat? If you are of full age, please, please help disciple those who are still babes. Help our youth get on fire for God. One of my college professors said that, "every revival in history started with some youth." Friends, America NEEDS a revival. Please help those youth to get on fire for God and let's be the change that we want to see in our dying world.

Whoa - the effects of no sleep

2007-10-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha!! This is hilarious. So, last night, I was up all night long. I had homework due this morning and it wasn't done. I logged onto myspace because I needed Nicole's help on a question (we have the same class together). Then, she gave me her yahoo IM screen name. So, I logged onto IM and then she gave me Crystal's screen name. We pulled an all nighter. I only got 15 mintues of sleep that night!! It was pretty crazy. lol. Nicole and I were working on homework for the same class, but poor Crystal was working on an assignment for a different class. But we were all helping each other stay awake to finish our assignments. I was IMing Crystal, Crystal was IMing Nicole, and Nicole was IMing me. lol. So, we were all having fun. Well, the time kept getting later and later. Well, we were all really tired so, you can imagine our conversations started getting a little on the wacky side. lol. The 3 of us decided that we are crazy, homework doing, chatty zombies. lol. So, Crystal and I were just randomly posting little blurbs (the audibles) and one of them said "All the ladies in the house say..." So, when she posted that I finsihed it by quoting KJ-52 "Uh, gimme that mountain dew". So, we just kept randomly posting lyrics to his song "Mountain Dew Anonymous". It was funny. So, we kept saying "Uh, gimme that Mountain Dew". We were laughing soooooooo hard. So, I told Crystal - We totally have to get Mountain Dews during break and take pictures. And she was like "oh totally". lol. So, we ended up pulling an all nighter to finish our homework. Then, when I got to school, I saw Crystal, and I said "Say it with me" and in unison we said "Uh, gimme that Mountain Dew". On break I bought 2 Mountain Dews - one for me and one for Crystal. Then, when we got to chapel, I gave her the Mountain Dew. Oh my gosh - I drank about half of it and then I started getting all loopy. Like crazy, jumpy, psychotic loopy. I was running up to people and saying "hi, how are you? how is your day going?" and stuff like that. Then I started getting all shaky - I litterally felt like I was drunk because I would try to walk somewhere and fall over because I was soooooo shaky. Everyone was asking me if I was ok. Today was a loopy, crazy, psychotic day. It is important to get sleep everybody - take it from somebody who's been there. I had total mush brain today - I swear, my brain turned into yogurt. lol. So, to my crazy, homework doing, chatty zombie buddies, this one's for you!

"Uh, gimme that Mountain Dew. I ain't playin' with you, you better give me my Mountain Dew!"

Randomness

2007-07-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

So, yah... last night my older brother, Josh, and his girlfriend, Kristin, came over. They brough pizza for dinner and the Master of Disguise for us to watch together. After we ate and watched the movie, Josh, Kristin, and Andrew (my younger bro) decided to go swimming. I didn't want to go because last time I went swimming, my cold got 10 times worse. Anywho, Kristin decided the water was too cold, so she and I went inside and watched Phantom of the Opera (well, the last half of it, we watched the first half last time she was over). Josh and Andrew shortly came in from the pool, and started watching the movie with us. Josh was positively HISTERICAL!! He can usually guess the plots of movies, but he couldn't figure this one out. He kept asking questions and being ticked off at the answers. When the movie finished, he was going on and on about how the Phantom is on "emotional crack". He started making all sorts of up and down noises followed by splat noises to show how his soul "dies" because Christine chose Raoul. It was just really funny.

My mission trip

2007-06-21T16:50:00.001-07:00

So, in case you didn't know, I recently got home from a 2 1/2 week mission trip to Malaysia with the Awana M-I-T (Missionary In Training) program. I was on a team with Mr. and Mrs. Bidwell, Hannah Sexton, Jenna Guthmiller, Bobi Ezell, David Schild, and Brett Hartt. I love my team so much. They are like my second family. I lvoe them each soooo much!! The trip went really well. I did not want to come home. The only part of the trip that I did not like was the long flights and the humidity. To get to Malaysia, we flew from Chicago to LAX (4 hrs), from LAX to Taipei (18 hrs), and from Taipei to Malaysia (4 hrs). On top of that, we had about a 2 hour drive to where we were staying. But, I think that the end results of the trip made the flights all worth it. We worked at 2 different church camps running a children's ministry. Each camp was 3 days/2 nights. The first camp was in a city called Port Dixon. We were at a hotel on the beach. The other girls on my team and I would get up in the morning and watch the moon set and the sun rise off the ocean. (sometimes we watched the sun set, too, if we weren't doing ministry until late). The second camp was in a city called Melaka. The hotel we stayed at there was very nice (something like a 4 or 5 star hotel. It was REALLY nice). The ministry we did involved running games, songs, puppet shows, skits, pantomimes, and teaching Bible lessons. Both camp had the theme of Faith, which was interesting because the whole theme behind the program I did the trip with is Stepping out in Faith. So, that was cool. At the first camp, we worked with 4 to 14 year olds. At the second camp, we worked with 4 to 12 year olds. The kids were so awesome. I miss all of their smiling faces. I saw God work in so many awesome ways. He revealed Himself to me during the second camp. I can't even begin to describe how awesome He is. We also worked at a third camp, but it was not a church camp. It was run by a church, but it was a community outreach camp. The church was in the middle of a Muslim community, so we could not evangelize. We had to simply build relationships and show the kids that we loved them. It was hard to talk about why we were there without mentioning God, but when we told them that we were there because we loved them, there were gasps in the room. At that camp, we worked with 3 different age groups back-to-back: 5 -7 yr olds, 8-9 yr olds, and 10-12 yr olds. We mostly ran games and crafts at that camp. But God still used us in great ways. God revealed Himself to me in so many different ways. I have a new understanding and a new love of God that I probably wouldn't have if it weren't for this trip. I also have a new perspective on worship. God is SOOOOO amazing! I am completely in love with my God and my King! This trip is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.

2006-10-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

So, last night, there was a gorgeous double rainbow in the sky. The first rainbow (shown here) was a beautiful, rounded ark. So, I took a bunch of pictures of it, and here is one of the best ones with the single rainbow. Remember, a rainbow isn't just pretty, it's a symbol. A symbol that is there to remind us that God will never again destroy the earth like he did when Noah lived. In a sense, it's a promise of the new future we will have with Christ. "No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting." Rainbows always lift my day, and I hope this one lifts yours, too. Always remember, your rainbow is ahead of you

Ow

2006-10-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to the skating rink, looking forward to night of roller skating fun. Well, it was only fun for about the first 35 minutes of session. I was skating backwards (something I'm usually good at), minding my own business, and I tripped or lost balance or something and fell. The floor guard told me that I did a back flip. I hit my head, my elbow, my wrists, and my tailbone (really hard). I'm soooo sore. I wasn't able to skate the rest of the night. My tailbone hurts and my elbow is extremely rugburned. But, I'm alive; just very, VERY sore. Anyway, that's my sob story for the night. good night.~Suzanne

Choir - Drama Tryouts and Results.

2006-10-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

Last week were the drama tryouts for the choir play called "Christmas with Little Orphan Hannah." The play's a spin off of Little Orphan Anne with a mix of Oliver Twist in it. I tried out for the part "Missus Curmudgeon." Missus Curmudgeon is the owner of the orphanage. She's number one, and she and her "sidekick," Persnickity, keep the orphans in line. They're really mean to the orphans. Curmudgeon believes that the orphans are out to ruin her life. The character is TOTALLY awesome. So, that's what I tried out for. I was a little nervous about the tryouts, afraid I wouldn't be able to sing the song she has to sing. Today, we found out what part we all got. And, guess what?!? I GOT MISSUS CURMUDGEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooooo excited!!! The play is typical of my director's style. Funny, serious, sarcastic, and a little corny, all in one. But I just love the part I got and I'm super, super happy!!!

Who can God use?

2006-09-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember... Noah was a drunk; Abraham was too old; Isaac was a daydreamer; Jacob was a liar; Leah was ugly; Joseph was abused; Moses had a stuttering problem; Gideon was afraid; Samson had long hair and was a womanizer; Rahab was a prostitute; Jeremiah and Timothy were too young; David had an affair and was a murderer; Elijah was suicidal; Isaiah preached naked; Jonah ran from God; Naomi was a widow; Job went bankrupt; John the Baptist ate bugs; Peter denied Christ...3 TIMES; The Disciples fell asleep while praying; Martha worried about everything; The Samaritan woman was divorced more then once, and living with a guy; Zaccheus was too small; Paul was too religious; Timothy had an ulcer; ...AND Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses now. God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.

1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's me.

3. Growing old is Inevitable. Growing UP is optional.

4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.

5. Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.

6. Do the math? Count Your blessings.

7. Faith is the ability to not panic.

8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.

9. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.

10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.

11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.

12. The most important things in your house are the people.

13. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. may God Always Bless You and Yours!

Uhhh... Sinus infection.

2006-09-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had a REALLY BAD migrain, I was really dizzy, someone talking normal sounded like they were shouting at me, my nose was plugged, and all that "fun" stuff. So, my mom thinks that I have a sinus infection. Well, I felt a lot better this morning, but my headache came back at like 4:20 or so, and it's still here (though not as bad as yesterday). So, yah, that's my day.

Intro

2006-09-26T19:14:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Suzanne, and this is my blog. I'm 17 years old and loving life. I'm a senior in highschool and a freshman in college, so my life is busy. I have a dog, a cat, and a bird. I have 2 brothers, a mom and dad, and the most awesome friends in the whole wide world. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. He rescued my soul. I believe that He shed His blood for my sins, died, rose again the third day, and is living in Heaven, seated at the right hand of the throne of God.